Snippets of contradictions

Ponderings...

2004-09-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

I've been lost from the blogging world, partly because of sleepless nights completing my assignment which is due to my procrastination partly dues to plain laziness. a bad bad habit. urgh. i realised when i have more time to complete an assignment..i tend to procrastinate more. cos i know i can i guess. compared to being soooo busy last sem with 2 jobs and studying..and yet not having problems with procrastination!~ urgh..the human behaviour. mind boggling isn't it?

Saw a post on Andrea's page on her ear piercing! haha. reminds me of my sensitive ears too. and all my trials and tribulations with it ;). I remember clearly cursing away when i had my third ear piercing on one ear right at the top..its cool ;) BUT!! i forgot about it 2 days later when its still raw and DANG it got caught when i was combing my hair. OwwwCCHh..that really truly hurts.

I completed an assignment on Aboriginal people in Australia recently and all their trials being the First Nation People of Australia. I don't know why..but i absolutely love reading and studying about such issues. one of the best book i've read is 'Phoolan Devi : The Bandit Queen' Oh..that was absolutely amazing. Really makes me walk in the shoes of people that had suffered under the cruel hands of humankind. She's from India..true story of course..went from all her sufferings as a low caste to being a member of the Parliament..and finally Assassinated a few years ago. Sigh.. :(

Anyway, Australia's First Nation People..hmm..i was thinking of it last night.. and i had this thought. "How does it really feel to be part of a culture, a race that is fast diminishing and going extinct because of the misled cruel deeds of others. How does it feel to know that you're the only kind of people (of that particular race or culture) in this whole world and that there really isn't that many of your kind around."?

For example; being Chinese, i see other chinese people everywhere..in every country. Sure each Chinese person from a different country and culture are so very different that they might as well be of a different race. But the bottom line is ..we still see people of our race everywhere in the world. But not for some Aboriginal cultural groups/people.....**pondering**

haha.i know..everyone tells me i think too much sometimes. But thats life and thats me :P

This brings me to one of my many childhood ambitions. You know how you're supposed to write your ambitions every beginning of the year in school..haha. i remember writing 'Psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor" or something along the line.

The thought came to my mind again recently..hmm.i know i'll love it..i know i'll enjoy and really feel for it. But..i'm afraid i definitely will feel Too much..walk in all the shoes of the people i meet too much and end up having the most depressing life of my own. i dunno....a thought.

Anyway, don't mean to be sound so depressing and serious after being lost for a week! haha. So good news!! WoHOO..bought a BEAutiful wallet last week. hehe. been looking for a nice one for So lonGGggg. and being fussy old me..i can spend eternity looking and still not settling for one..or i can just see one and buy it on a whim!. so..anyway, in a mixture of both whim and fussiness, i found my wallet last week while strolling about in the city. :) *i tried putting a picture up here. but the lighting ain't good. so oh well..maybe next time*

Which brings me to a funny experience in the city. ahha. i was just browsing about and Shane and I went into this handphone shop. There were two sales person there, this 2 guys. I was in there...admiring the phones and well..just being myself i guess.. and then..this guy said to me, grinning away "Do you want a mic?" HUH?? then i realised immediately!! hahha.. there was this singer/guitarist singing beautiful songs right outside the shop and without realising it i was singing along..loud enough for all in the shop to hear apparently. haha (Ok ...its quite a tiny shop..so i didn't embarass myself THAT much.) i was laughing away..and i said "Nah..i'll steal his business away - refering to the singer outside" (Trying hard to salvage my pride) ahhaa.
Now both of sales person laughing and grinning " but phew at least they said, "Oh definitely..i'm sure" haha. and i hurriedly left the shop..with some pride left. **blushing**

~"When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane"~ Hermann Hesse

~"I hate mankind, for i think myself one of the best of them, and i know how bad i am"~ Joseph Baretti.

Days of my week...life..whatever :P

2004-09-09T01:15:00.000-07:00

Had been busy busy bee the past few days! Swamped with work for now till next couple of weekS!! AH!! and examS! dang

Had filming 2 nights ago..went pretty well. Managed to finish it all in one night and everyone work really well together. Great! Just a few more days to put aside for editing and hopefully thats it!

Hopefully the end result would be scary enough. hehe. We did on film noir. (black and white horror movie) with a plotline similar to the RING. With the twist of the character being a male character..not the usual damsel in distress and with DEATH/Grim Reaper calling him till he changes from being annoyed and pissed off to being freaked out.

FINAlly, *BANG SCREECH HORN HORN ....THUDDD.......beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppp** . The end. hehe. Its relying on sound effects and expression to convey the fear and overall meaning/feeling of the film rather than just in-your-face images. so just hoping that it turns out well. But its amateur filming, with pathetic equipments such as using the lights from the headlights of our cars to film by a dark street. Which..gave us lesson no. 2!!! how to start up a dead battery of the car!! The funny/scary thing was none of us actually have any experience with starting a dead battery up again and recharging using another car and cables..etc. sO..we were like..HMmm are we supposed to wire it positive to negative or positive positive? Uh Oh. *GASP* But oh well, i'm still alive to tell the story so we got it right! :) hehe

Handed a big assignment in today..another due tmrw..just got back from a 3 hr seminar and 2 meetings. Phew..an Information OVERLOAD day..my brains feel sTretched and swamped! i need to recharge it!! Any brain cables?? positive? negative? HAhahaha

*Its not whether you get knock down, but its whether you get back up - Vince Lombardi*

Freaky night!!!

2004-09-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

My my..i had a freaky experience at work today!!! This guy came in..reaking of alcohol..and he looks funny, sleepy and WEIRD!! i think he was on drugs too! He stumbled around the shop and asking weird stuff...and finally before he left, he left me a wEird note on the table!!..He ask me for a pen and a paper first, and then..he was writing some stuff..i was feeling freaked out by him already, so i was avoiding him. Then he just left the note there...and its weird, it goes like this
"DOUBLE JEOPARDY, WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP. JIMI ..something..(his name i think)" WHAT THE?!?!?!??!!
2nd weird experience, another feller came in, this one..loooks a bit rugged. but not as weird as the drunkard high on drugs feller. But i realised his hands were kinda streaked with BLOOD!!! and quite a lot!!!!! my goodness...tonite is a weird nite..was scary going to the car park and driving home just now. BrRRrrRBRBRRRr..

Anyways, home now with milo and toast to calm my nerves. hehe. and a hot shower coming up!! :)

HAI YAH!!!! KICK

2004-09-01T22:37:00.000-07:00

Do you know the feeling when you're push nearly to the limits of your physical ability,you feel so breathless, so tired, not being able to move another muscle and yet have to...and thats not all..the worst is yet to come..waking up all sore and aching!!..HAhaa...What am i saying? KICKBOXING class of course..what else :P! dang..i feel so dead yesterday. No..i'm not becoming an exercise freak. Just trying out the new gym in uni.
Finish a small Aboriginal summary and presentation today which is due next week, ..phew finally. Been trying to finish it since last week! Now to really concentrate on my big assignment which is due TOO SOON!! *STressing big time now** and yet can't seem to kick my bad habit of Procrastination. **SIGH**

Anyways, check out the pics!! with my sister (adel), with Shane,with my cousins, aunt, unc from UK and sis (sheryn) and dinner!

Spring is coming?

2004-08-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

Urgh I hate computers and technology!!! AHHH!!! This is my second time typing GRrrr.i was nearly finish and the darn thing disappeared !! So freaking annoying!!!!!!!!!!!

The irony is I was going on and on about the beautiful day I was having..etc..etc the greatness of the world, technology and mankind..etc etc (well..not really..not to that extreme..but still!!) And the whole thing kaput on me. Hate it when that happens..

Ok..let me recall. I was going on and on about how Spring is supposed to be here in 2 days time but its pretty hard to be convince of that when its still so cold especially at night. BrRrrr.

However, I do see some pretty flowers popping and pushing their way out into the world in uni today..blooming without a care. Amazing nature. The though to take a trip out into the wilderness to see the gorgeous wildflowers had crossed my mind..but the only time I can do that is during my mid sem break..and sadly I have exams immediately after that! So…can’t do that.

Exams..this will be my final one! For a long long time to come..(At least a couple of years till I’ll even consider furthering anything else) Just wanna complete this postgrad and get my hands deep and dirty with some real work that I love. *just pray hard I get some great job that makes my heart pump faster! **

Wildflowers, reminds me of a great trip to my ex-housemates farm 2 years ago. Had a great time. Did some spotlighting (Scouting in the chilling cold on the back of an open ute/truck for wild animals..kangaroos, rabbits, etc) but no killing please for timid ol penangite here. Although the good home cooked meals at the farm was amazing with kangaroo kebab (hunted and cooked by her bro), lambs, freshly baked bread and cakes are among a few of the mouth watering food. MmMmM…

The mountains, hills and fields of absolute gold was just so breathtaking all the way to the farm. Dandelions and canola fields I believe…amazing. It covered every single inch of nearly all the fields that I crossed. Couldn’t help it but took a picture of me sitting on a garden of gold..although the gold dust (pollen!) was stuck on my clothes!!

I had such a beautiful day. It was sunny although the cold nippy wind took the pleasure of the warm sun away. Pilates class was fantastic and dinner by Chef Shane ;) was even better. Best of all, I was given an absolutely gorgeous gift that I had been eyeing the other day at the shop, a lovely and unique pendant. Its shaped like a small silver bible with a cross engraved onto the cover. That’s not all…it can actually be opened and I can keep photos inside! How cool is that! Loved it! Merci beaucoup, mon amour.

***"I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy and Imagination is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through another side of a crystal. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.***

Loong Lazy Sunday..

2004-08-29T00:58:00.000-07:00

WoOHOoo!! Bought my CD yesterday. :) been listening to it since then. Fantastic. all my old favourite songs. mmmMmm.. Just realised there's this big christian book, CD's etc store thats just opened in my suburb. Pretty famous one in fact.

Had some friends over last night, great catching up and having some drinks. It's been a while since i did that. Was very nice. But oh..feel sleepy now...lack of sleep! hehe

Today i will devote myself to myself, this time finishing up an assignment which is due tommorrow and just relaxing with the soft sound of Darlene's music at the background and a hot cup of coffee with those addictive tasting creamer! hehe..MmMm..
Ahh..and some Longans that a friend gave me. yummy. Anybody interested ? ;)

My bratty MANJA-IST Pepper

2004-08-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

AIN't my DOGGIE CUuTTEE!!!! She's the super-ist manja dog i've ever had..and trust me i've had encounters with lots :P My house in malaysia is after all..a mini zoo as some had proclaimed. So the first pic - Can you actually sEe the wheels in her head turning?! *She's probably thinking shheessh..humans. nothing better to do with their life except take my pic. haha.**
Second pic- no..she's not being punished. that was her after her surgery (dessexing) last year. She was so pampered then...carry her up and down the stairs..sleep on bean bag. haha. first day she was home, still blur blur under anasthetic mah..(Hmm..maybe she was pretending to get carried around ..GRrrr) haha

Just read Cher's blog about 'a life spared'. Scary..but ...God sure kept her safe. AMEN!

Its been a long but good day! Had a productive meeting in uni this morning..which is fantastic. You know with group work..it can be hard to get the right balance, karma, chemistry between all members. Its a COLD, Rainy and wet day..sigh... Urgh..winter always gets me sick. Oh well..oh well..i'll be my own sunshine then!!! If you believe something enough..it will come true rite..so i'll will my own sunny day out. I'm starting to tok crap ..mind shrinking? haha. like my pregnant Sista! :P ok.nites peeps.

Hillsong

2004-08-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

Just discovered Darlene Zschech last night. She was in the news. I know..i know..i'm very the outdated for most of you penangites out there :P pity me lor..i hermit mah. haha. but makes me nostalgic for Wesley. Absolutely love the songs. Gonna go get the CD. If anybody wanna send to me...i dun mind ;) **hint hint**

So sienzz today...stupid house agent..disturbing my privacy. GrRrr..Supposed to go body combat..but didn't make it. And now home..waiting for the troublesome pesty agent. and boooreed at home..althoughi should stop procrastinating and start on my Aboriginal presentation and my Script/Storyboard for media. YaWWNn...haha.. just the thought makes me SOoOooo happy.

~"A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress, a loving word may heal and bless."~

Man..this is so true..I had a fren in uni the other day..dunno him well. In my group, and he was really breaking down in front of us. (a couple of us gals in the same group) His stress level, tension, ..the whole lot was so HIGH, you can actually feel that its possible to cut a knife through it. So lost for words..since i dunno him well..dun wanna 'activate' him (get him violent or something..make it worse) and yet..*Sigh*

"We rush towards an eternity of seconds lost" "Stop and smell the roses... ;) the little things in life. "

Anyway gonna tidy up the house a bit now. GrRrrr..HUG HUGS

MmMm..i had GuyLian seashelly choc the other nite...YuMmMYYyy

First Blog

2004-08-24T00:21:00.000-07:00

~The Grand Essential of Happiness are : Something to do, Something to love and something to hope for. ~

After much talk of blogging, i'm finally in the blogging world. THANKS a Zillion to my dear for putting up with the fussiest client in the world!~ME! Love my page now. hehe. Just hope i keep it up! (Crossing fingers) Well..as my dear friend, Cher and i said..its a good outlet to vent our pent up emotions. Writing is always good.
Found this Quote somewhere...Hmm...

~A Road without obstacles leads to nowhere. A road with no obstacles has no merit to follow.
Don't spend your life looking for the meaning of life. Life has no meaning ; you give it one. ~

Well..provoked my sleep deprived mind for awhile..contradiction. I think its so true..and yet..form the back of my mind, i know i've always wondered since i was a small kiddo.."What is the meaning of life" " why am i on earth" " Why does the system of life itself consist of studying, working..etc" " why is everything in the world...the way it is..??"
A Flashback of my first encounter with fear of the unknown...I was very young then..not even in primary i guess, and out by the gate with my dad (think he was painting the gate or something) and i remember i've seen in the tv about comets hitting earth..etc. I recall suddenly feeling scared and looking up to the sky. I guess thats kinda when i started having all these ponderings about life...and possibly for a long time to come.

Anywaysssss, i think thats all i can muster up for a first blog! My mind's pretty much konk off d. :)

Blogging

2004-08-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

Dipping my toes into the twisted world of blogging.